This came to me as an email forward but I did find it very cute:
TEACHER:     Maria, go to the map and find  North America.
MARIA:       Here it is.
TEACHER:     Correct. Now class, who discovered  America ?
CLASS:Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Maria.
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TEACHER:Â Â Â John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN:Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â You told me to do it without using tables.
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TEACHER:Â Glenn, how do you spell ‘crocodile?’
GLENN:Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L’
TEACHER:Â No, that’s wrong
GLENN:Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
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TEACHER:Â Â Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD:Â Â Â Â Â Â H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER:Â Â What are you talking about?
DONALD:Â Â Â Â Â Â Yesterday you said it’s H to O.
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TEACHER:Â Â Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn’t have ten years ago.
WINNIE:Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Me!
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TEACHER:Â Â Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I’m a lot closer to the ground than you are.
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TEACHER:    Millie, give me a sentence starting with ‘ I. ‘
MILLIE:Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â IÂ is..
TEACHER:Â Â Â Â No, Millie….. Always say, ‘IÂ am.’
MILLIE:Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â All right…Â ‘I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.’
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TEACHER:Â Â Â George Washington not only chopped down his father’s cherry tree, but also admitted it.
Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn’t punish him?
LOUIS:            Because George still had the axe in his hand….
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TEACHER:Â Â Â Now, Simon , tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON:Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â No sir, I don’t have to, my Mom is a good cook.
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TEACHER:      Clyde , your composition on ‘My Dog’ is exactly the same as your  brother’s.. Did you copy his?
CLYDEÂ :Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â No, sir. It’s the same dog.
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TEACHER:   Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD:Â Â Â Â Â A teacher