I had a baby doc appointment this morning. I’m 2 centimeters dilated (cervix opening) and 50% effaced (cervix thinning out). Of course I only partially know what that means but I’m told that it’s not very likely that I’ll make it to my doctor’s appointment next Thursday without a baby. It was funny to see how surprised the doc was to “observe” my progress, since there was nothing happening a week ago (I’ll be very happy to not have a doc all up in my lady business weekly, I’ll you what!).

She asked if I’d been having contractions, and I said no, and she said you’re having one now as she was listening to the heartbeat… apparently the wonderful pain in my bones I’ve been experiencing from belly button to knees has been one big contraction that’s hiding other stuff. So I may be having a baby this weekend. Bring it! 🙂

As I’m sitting here typing, there’s all kinds of sensations going on down there – pain, movement, gurgling… I’m supposed to go to the hospital when the contractions are 5 minutes apart or if my water breaks. Apparently once we get to the point of contractions being 5 minutes apart, I should be able to identify the sensation as a contraction. Hmm…

From BabyCenter.com (she’s changed to he’s):

Your baby has really plumped up. He weighs about 6.8 pounds and he’s over 19 1/2 inches long (like a leek). He has a firm grasp, which you’ll soon be able to test when you hold his hand for the first time! His organs have matured and are ready for life outside the womb.

Wondering what color your baby’s eyes will be? You may not be able to tell right away. If he’s born with brown eyes, they’ll likely stay brown. If he’s born with steel gray or dark blue eyes, they may stay gray or blue or turn green, hazel, or brown by the time he’s 9 months old. That’s because a child’s irises (the colored part of the eye) may gain more pigment in the months after he’s born, but they usually won’t get “lighter” or more blue. (Green, hazel, and brown eyes have more pigment than gray or blue eyes.)  {I’m hoping for Blake’s blue eyes!}

Yes, I’m ready to have the baby already.

In fact, I’ve been drinking raspberry leaf tea to help induce labor (“What to Expect When You’re Expecting” said it’s safe!). Since I’m still pregnant, it’s obviously not working but let’s be optimistic! At least it doesn’t taste too bad.

So about 5 years ago, I took a Spin class at the gym at USF. For those unfamiliar, Spinning is a hellacious activity in which you ride a stationary bike, bouncing up and down on an unnecessarily hard seat. After my one and only attempt at the activity, I experienced some nasty bruising on my lady parts (sexy!).

I bring that up because I was feeling like that had happened again today. My bones in the nether-regions are killing me. Sitting is just not fun and I do the old man groan getting up and down from a chair.

A search on the Google for “crotch pain pregnancy” alerted me to how common this is. It’s common and will probably only get worse. So let’s pop out this little guy already!

I see my doc tomorrow where I’m sure I’ll be told, like with all my other complaints, that the reason for this is “because you’re pregnant.”

The Worst

5. Buying so much stuff

Blake and I are minimalists. We don’t like stuff and can usually talk ourselves out of buying just about anything. While we’ve been able to keep it simple, we’ve still had to acquire a lot of stuff. Fortunately we’ve done our research and bought/requested a lot of stuff with a smaller impact on the environment.

Me & Gigabyte sleeping at our apartment in Virginia.

4. Not being able to sleep with my cats >

We have three non-human children, ages 7, 7, and 8. And in our preparing the baby’s room, we’ve decided to keep the cats out to reduce the amount of cat hair/allergens. The problem is that the baby’s room is also our bedroom, so I haven’t been able to sleep with my kitty babies in months. I’ve found myself sleeping on the couch more than a few times to cuddle with them.

3. Stupidity

The baby’s eating my brain cells. The closer and closer we get to D-Day, the dumber I get! My brain is jumbling words, tripping over basic logic, forgetting everything including my own name, and reducing me to a bumbling buffoon. Baby better be a genius!

2. Pain

I know I haven’t delivered yet, where the real pain comes in, but as of late my bones hurt if I sit, lay, or stand too long. It’s excruciating if I don’t potty frequently (I have a pre-existing bladder condition that mixes the signals on whether or not I need to pee). Oh the back aches!

1. Heartburn

I never had heartburn until pregnancy. I can conservatively estimate that I’ve ingested HUNDREDS of Tums during these past 9+ months. I’m going through milk like crazy to try to help alleviate the burning. Of course, in thinking about the burning, Johnny Cash pops into my head… “And it burns burns burns, the ring of fire…” {See #3}

The Best

5. The hunger

Of course it’s nice that I get to eat more stuff. But it’s been a double-edged sword because I’ve also been obsessive about not gaining too much weight. But food is always a good thing.

4. Shiny hair and long nails

Blame it on the prenatal vitamins, but my hair is thicker and shinier and my nails longer and stronger than ever before. I just recently chopped off my hair (too much to deal with), but it’s still gorgeous, if I do say so myself. However, the gray is just pouring in, but I don’t really mind it; gives me character.

3. Exercise praise

Never before have I been regarded so highly for exercising! Apparently a lot of pregnant women aren’t nearly as active as I am so I’m suddenly awesome for working out. Go me!

2. Spicy foods

Before pregnancy, I couldn’t tolerate spicy anything. Black pepper on stuff was too much. Not that I can handle jalapeños or anything, but hot sauce on my Taco Bell beany Double Decker, or Louisiana hot sauce in my ketchup, not to mention my Spicy Cheese Curls, has been truly wonderful.

Baby back in August

1. Growing a little person

It’s taken me this long to admit that it is exciting that I’m growing a little person. Since it’s becoming real, I can admit how cool it is that Blake and I have created a little dude that’ll hopefully be a gorgeous as we are, as nerdy as Blake, and as brilliant as I used to be.

Another doctor’s appointment today. Last week doc told me my blood pressure was a little high, but I knew it was just because of too much salt. Went in today, it was fine. She did a vaginal exam to check things out, which I’m referring to as “groped all up in my business.” She was able to feel the baby’s head (weird!). The cervix is soft but not opened, meaning we’re getting there but we’re not there yet. Both awesome and bummer! I’m getting both really uncomfortable and want this thing out of me and really nervous about having to pop a baby out of my lady parts.

Other than all that, I’m feeling tired, heartburn-y (seriously, we all should have bought stock in Tums!), and just sick of being huge. Nothing major to report, just whining.

And yes, last week I chopped off all my hair, about 7 inches. It was too long and got tangled way too easy.

Update from BabyCenter.com:

Your baby is now considered “full term,” even though your due date is three weeks away. If you go into labor now, his lungs will likely be mature enough to fully adjust to life outside the womb. (Some babies need a bit more time, though. So if you’re planning to have a repeat c-section, for example, your practitioner will schedule it for no earlier than 39 weeks unless there’s a medical reason to intervene earlier.)

Your baby weighs 6 1/3 pounds and measures a bit over 19 inches, head to heel (like a stalk of Swiss chard). Many babies have a full head of hair at birth, with locks from 1/2 inch to 1 1/2 inches long. But don’t be surprised if your baby’s hair isn’t the same color as yours. Dark-haired couples are sometimes thrown for a loop when their children come out as blonds or redheads, and fair-haired couples have been surprised by Elvis look-alikes. And then, of course, some babies sport only peach fuzz.

At my final ultrasound yesterday, it was confirmed that baby’s head is facing down, the placenta isn’t blocking the opening, and he’s not too big – all pointing away from my needing a C-section (yay!). It was also confirmed that his bony ass is bruising my rib (ok, so they confirmed that his butt is in the vicinity of my ribs but there was no actual proof of bruising other than my rib-region hurts – I’ll stop being an exaggerator-face).

Because we’re so close to the end, the ultrasound, which works by bouncing sound waves off the amniotic fluid inside, didn’t capture any cute photos. Baby’s so smooshed in there with very little fluid that the tech was just able to get measurements. I have a photo of him giving a thumbs up but my scanner’s not cooperating, sorry.

The tech was able to guesstimate the weight. He’s just over 3,000 grams, which translates to roughly 5.5 pounds, give or take 1.25 pounds. That’s a pretty small guy, since the average weight is 7 pounds. We’ll see!

At first, my due date was 11/23, based on the start of my last period. Then after the first two sonograms, they moved it up to 11/17 because he was growing fast, which is what I’ve been going by. Based on this last ultrasound, they’ve moved it back to 11/23. (Dang it.)

I had a doctor’s appointment today. Baby is positioned head down, good for labor. On the doc’s mini-ultrasound machine, she saw that he’s facing up now. I have my final ultrasound next Wednesday to verify the positioning and guestimate his weight. Now my doc appointments are going to be weekly. We’re getting close! My blood pressure was higher than normal today, which made the doc suddenly care about my fat feet. I know I just had too much salt, so I need to be more vigilant in watching my salt intake and hope that helps.

From BabyCenter.com (she changed to he):

Your baby is still packing on the pounds — at the rate of about an ounce a day. He now weighs almost 6 pounds (like a crenshaw melon) and is more than 18 1/2 inches long. He’s shedding most of the downy covering of hair that covered his body as well as the vernix caseosa, the waxy substance that covered and protected his skin during his nine-month amniotic bath. Your baby swallows both of these substances, along with other secretions, resulting in a blackish mixture, called meconium, will form the contents of his first bowel movement.

At the end of this week, your baby will be considered full-term. (Full-term is 37 to 42 weeks; babies born before 37 weeks are pre-term and those born after 42 are post-term.) Most likely he’s in a head-down position. But if he isn’t, your practitioner may suggest scheduling an “external cephalic version,” which is a fancy way of saying he’ll try to coax your baby into a head-down position by manipulating his from the outside of your belly.

I didn’t take any photos this week, sorry! I was in Daytona for work half the week and then running around town shopping the other half. Just imagine me at 34 weeks but a little bigger. Nothing really major to report. Just the same stuff: hunger, heartburn, fat feet, and being kicked in the crotch from the inside. 🙂

From BabyCenter.com:

Your baby doesn’t have much room to maneuver now that he’s over 18 inches long and tips the scales at 5 1/4 pounds (pick up a honeydew melon). Because it’s so snug in your womb, he isn’t likely to be doing somersaults anymore, but the number of times he kicks should remain about the same. His kidneys are fully developed now, and his liver can process some waste products. Most of his basic physical development is now complete — he’ll spend the next few weeks putting on weight.